The Christmas House Page 14

  Olivia lifted dead eyes to her. “Did you ever like Will?”

  Charlotte shifted. “Well … you know me, Liv, I’m kind of … um,”

  “Smart?”

  “What? No. I mean, I just don’t trust people, but that hasn’t really gotten me anywhere, has it? I mean, I’m like closer to thirty than twenty now, with no significant anyone who isn’t a blood relative in my life. I have issues. Trust issues. Control issues. What has it gotten me? Great stationery products and organizational bins for my pantry and closets?”

  Olivia stared her down. “Wyatt?”

  She gasped out loud and she felt guilty for not telling Olivia sooner. “You heard?”

  “It’s the Wyatt?”

  Charlotte nodded.

  “And he turned out even more gorgeous than we could have possibly imagined?”

  Charlotte nodded again.

  Olivia smiled. “You know this isn’t a coincidence, right?”

  “You’ve been spending way too much time with Grandma. It’s a total fluke. A total coincidence. And Wyatt … he’s just a …”

  “A hot man who wants you?”

  She swallowed hard. “Did Grandma say that too?”

  “Well, in a more dignified way. I think she said he was strikingly handsome to be exact. Something about providence. Then when we were in town getting Dawn’s picture taken with Santa, Grandma spotted him across the road. She pointed him out, and I almost smashed the stroller into Santa’s sleigh. I mean, Char, this is not the kind of man one comes across every day. Sheriff—”

  “Deputy—”

  Olivia shot her a look and she shrugged, crossing her arms.

  “Devoted father—”

  “Single dad.”

  Olivia rolled her eyes. “I should hope he’s single, for your sake.”

  “Okay, what’s your point?” she snapped, softening the attitude with a forced smile.

  Olivia laughed out loud. “My point is that you could have a life if you wanted one.”

  She was not going to fill her sister in on how she’d just destroyed her chance of a life last night. “We’ve always just been friends. It’s way too soon to be talking about a life.”

  “It’s the uniform, isn’t it?” Olivia said with a sad smile.

  Charlotte grabbed a pillow and held it close to her chest, oddly comforted that her sister knew. “That’s stupid … but maybe it’s back there, buried inside. I hate thinking of Dad, I hate that he can still have an impact on my life,” she whispered.

  Olivia nodded. “I know. It kind of sneaks up on you, right? Dawn smiled and looked at me the other day and for a second I could have sworn it was Dad’s smile.”

  Charlotte ran her hands through her hair, refusing to get emotional about this. “Ugh. We’re supposed to be talking about you and your problems. Not mine. Tell me what happened with Will. Maybe it’s salvageable,” she said.

  She shook her head. “Let’s open a bottle of wine. I haven’t had wine in so long because I’m always home with Dawn at night and I’m too paranoid to drink in case I have to rush to the hospital or something. And then what would I do? Arrive in a cab, fumbling with my baby into the ER? Then what if they called child services and took Dawn away?” Olivia said.

  Charlotte didn’t even know where to begin with that. “Why would you need to go to the hospital?”

  Olivia waved a hand. “I don’t know. It’s just scary being a single parent. And a first-time parent. Babies are scary. Very unpredictable.”

  Charlotte’s chest felt heavy. “Okay. Let’s have wine. Also, I think if we’re having wine we should pair it with that peppermint white chocolate popcorn I spotted in the pantry this afternoon.”

  Olivia’s eyes widened, and she scrambled into a sitting position. “Yes. We can plan all the things. How you’re going to get a life, how I’m going to get a life.”

  Charlotte laughed. “Fine. Who’s going to the cold cellar to get the wine?”

  Olivia straightened her shoulders and stood. “I’m doing this, because I gave birth, so therefore I’m strong enough to walk across a crusty cement floor and through a basement filled with potential danger at every turn … and I owe you big time for everything you ever did for me as a big sister,” she said, her voice cracking.

  “Okay. But the giving birth part is just showing off. Let’s go quietly and make sure we don’t wake Grandma.,” she said, walking over to the door.

  Olivia’s mouth dropped open. “Okay, I’ll meet you in the TV room,” she whispered.

  They snuck down the stairs, and suddenly it felt like they were kids again, sneaking into Grandma’s pantry at night for cookies and secrets. For a second she wished she could go back to their childhood. She wished she could tell those young girls that they would be okay, but she wished she could tell them … she wished she could tell Olivia to be strong and not hold onto the first man who came along, that true love was waiting out there for her. And she wished she could tell herself not to live in fear. She wished she could go back and warn them that their relationship would be tested, but that they were each other’s greatest ally and to never lose sight of that. As Olivia disappeared into the basement, Charlotte tiptoed into the kitchen, a lightness to her spirit, to her body. It was as though the magic of Christmas had finally arrived.

  “Hello, my dear.”

  Charlotte let out a little scream. Grandma Ruby was standing by the pantry in her red velour robe with a smile on her face. “Grandma, you scared me!” Charlotte laughed.

  “I’m glad to see you and your sister haven’t forgotten how to have fun—and how to sneak snacks from the pantry,” she said, opening the door for her.

  Charlotte’s eyes widened. “You knew?”

  Grandma Ruby smiled and gave her that stare that made Charlotte wonder how her grandmother had become so wise. “Why do you think I always made sure there were fresh treats in there? Nothing beats girl talk and treats. Watching you and Olivia grow up together was one of my greatest blessings. I’m so happy that it seems she’s coming around,” Grandma Ruby said, reaching up and grabbing the bag of popcorn.

  Charlotte accepted the bag, not even asking how she knew this was what they were after. “Thank you, Grandma. Do you want to join us?”

  Grandma Ruby shook her head and walked out of the pantry. “Thank you, but I’m ready to settle down and read for a while before I turn in early. You girls have fun,” she said, patting Charlotte on the shoulder before walking out of the room. Charlotte watched her retreat, taking in the way she moved, noticing that she was walking a little slower tonight. Even though Grandma Ruby always appeared to have it together, Charlotte knew these years were coming to an end and she was desperate to hold onto all of it. If she could keep them all close, huddle the time and memories near her heart, she would.

  She blinked as the sound of feet clomping heavily up the basement steps pulled her from her nostalgia. Olivia appeared at the top of the stairs a moment later. “I just avoided death by a thousand spiders,” she said, marching into the kitchen and raising the bottle of wine in the air like a trophy.

  Charlotte burst out laughing. “You get the wine glasses and I’ll get a bowl,” she said, somehow knowing she was going to find the white bowl with the holly pattern waiting for her on the island.

  A few minutes later they were seated side by side on the forest-green sofa, and she poured the popcorn into the bowl while Olivia opened the wine and filled their glasses.

  “Now, as soon as I have a long swig of wine, I will tell you the tale of how I found out my douchebag husband was a disgusting, lying cheater.”

  Charlotte shut her eyes as rage and pity swam through her. “Oh, Liv,” she whispered as her sister drank half the glass in one long drink.

  Olivia waved a hand. “It’s okay. Really. I’m totally fine. Also, we have our two glass limit, so I really will be okay. I’ve never gone back on that rule,” she said, her eyes misting over.

  Charlotte nodded. “Me too,” she said softly
, remembering the night they had promised each other they would never become dependent like their mother.

  “Here. Have some.” Charlotte shoved the bowl of popcorn at her, hoping the mix of sugar and chocolate might help lighten the mood.

  Olivia dug her hand into the bowl. “I may as well. I’m going to eat everything while I’m here. Then on January first, it’s going to be a new me. Pretty cliché, huh?”

  The half-smile she shot Charlotte was filled with self-loathing and made Charlotte cringe. “Well, I think the Liv sitting beside me right now is pretty awesome.”

  Olivia took another drink of wine. “You’re the best and I treated you like crap. I’m so sorry, Char.”

  “I don’t want to talk about that again. Okay? Tell me about Will,” she said, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth. The white chocolate and peppermint melted decadently while she waited for her sister to speak.

  “I should have known. It was all the classic telltale signs—late nights at work all of a sudden. Business trips when he never used to have business trips. He was always on his phone. He was also … he never, like, wanted me anymore. I’m surprised we even conceived Dawn. I mean, like it was basically a miracle, and she is. I mean, I have no regrets because that would mean she wasn’t in the world. But I wanted to be a better example to her,” she said, staring ahead at the Christmas tree and blindly shoving her hand into the bowl of popcorn.

  “You’re not the one who cheated,” Charlotte said, her voice shaking with anger. She topped up both their glasses, because she didn’t know what to do with herself.

  “I blame myself for not seeing it … and then not leaving right away. He … he tried to justify it. I figured it out when I was seven months pregnant. He told me I had become fat and undesirable and—”

  “What?” Charlotte hissed.

  Olivia rolled her eyes and nodded. “Great guy, right?”

  “I’m going to hunt him down and hurt him.”

  Olivia laughed and turned to her. “Do you know I thought he was right? And I’d stand there and look at myself in the mirror from all these different angles and just hate myself. I hated my kankles. I hated the fuller face. The bigger boobs. The stomach. Everything. And then I hated myself for thinking all those things because one of my friends is struggling with infertility, and I thought what kind of person am I to be so superficial and hate all these changes that are true blessings? What that woman next door to me would give to have the kankles and all the stuff that goes with it. And there I was, sad about it because my douchebag husband didn’t like the way I looked?”

  “Omigosh, I feel so bad you went through all this alone,” Charlotte whispered.

  “I didn’t leave him then. Stupid, right? I told him I thought we should work on our marriage and that after I had the baby, I’d lose all the baby weight and we could get back to where we were. I don’t know how stupid I could have been. I just know that I was vulnerable and weak and I didn’t want to be a single mom.”

  “What did he say?” Charlotte asked, ditching the popcorn and relying solely on the wine now.

  “He reluctantly agreed, and the rest of the pregnancy was awful. I was depressed and lonely and kept eating because I had no one. When I finally went into labor, he was there and left halfway through the birth. I remember the nurse and the OB-GYN giving each other looks, and I knew, after I gave birth to that baby girl, that I was gone. He missed her birth. He missed her birth because he was sexting his lover,” she said, before downing the rest of her wine.

  “I’m going to smash things,” Charlotte whispered, her voice coming out in a hiss, before she gulped down a giant swig of wine.

  “It’s okay. I kicked him out of the house and he didn’t even care, because he went to live with her. I filed for divorce. I have full custody. I have everything I could ever want. Oh, I even lost twenty of the fifty pounds I put on,” she said, and then burst into tears.

  Charlotte put her arm around her, just like when they were little. “Everything is going to be okay, Liv. I promise. You have a beautiful baby girl, and you are doing a great job as a mom. I’m here for you. Whatever you need, okay?”

  “I need to get my shit together, Char. I need a fresh start. I want something of my own. I don’t want to live off his money. I want the day to come where I don’t need a dime of his. I want to do it on my own,” she said.

  “Then you will. You are talented and smart. You can do anything you want.”

  “Yeah, except I haven’t worked in a couple of years because I wanted to be the ‘perfect wife’ and gave up on everything else.”

  “Then work for me. With me. I’m doing great, business is going well. We could totally partner,” she said.

  Olivia smiled. “You’re the best big sister. But not partners. I’m not going to join in on something you created from scratch. But I will take any job you give me. But I have to find my own way. Do you remember when I took dance?”

  Charlotte nodded. “Grandma Ruby got us the gift certificate to the dance studio near our house. I sucked, but you were great.”

  Olivia let out a sad laugh. “I always thought that I’d grow up to be this prima ballerina. So that didn’t happen, but maybe I could teach dance and one day have my own studio.”

  “That’s a great idea. Why don’t you use this time to research that? You have all of us around to help with Dawn. Do it now. Then start a business plan—I can help you with that.”

  “Is that crazy though? How would I even start a studio?”

  “Do you own the house?”

  Olivia nodded slowly.

  “Well … with real estate prices the way they are in the city … you could sell it. Move here. Live with Grandma and use that money toward starting a studio. I know Wyatt’s daughter, Samantha, goes to the long-standing studio in town, so maybe in the next town over? They might not have a studio. You don’t need a big place to start, Liv.”

  “Wow. How did you come up with that so fast?”

  She shrugged. “I’m not saying it’ll work. Like, obviously, you’ll have to do your research. And I think Grandma needs someone here with her now.”

  “What about you? Would you consider moving here?”

  Charlotte took a deep breath. “I’ve thought about it, every now and then, but I don’t know. It’s too early to be thinking about that. Let’s focus on you for a while. You need it. I can figure me out.”

  Olivia looked down. “I need to get back into shape, Char. It’s not so much the weight, but it’s the feeling of not being able to run and stretch and use my body like I used to. I haven’t worked out in like nine months. First because I had the worst morning sickness when I was pregnant. Whoever said it was morning sickness was a liar. It was all day and all night. So I never ran. I just stopped. I stopped doing barre workouts, and those at least kept me feeling like I had my foot in the door with dance. I can’t even imagine dancing, and I certainly don’t think I can even stretch enough to touch my toes at this point.”

  “Okay, so listen. Here’s what we do—we walk. Every morning. If Dawn isn’t napping, we bring her with us. Actually, we should plan it for when she’s awake so that you can use her naptime for work time. Shoot, I feel like we need a planner down here or something,” she said, looking around.

  “You’re the best, I’m already feeling better,” she said.

  Charlotte pulled out her phone and started making notes. “Okay, here’s what we do. Naptime is when you start your business plan. Exercise during awake time. She gets fresh air and you get a workout. Then you need to download a barre app. I did once because I had this idea that maybe it would be good for me to increase flexibility, but as you know, I’m very tightly wound and it wasn’t pretty. I stick with jogging so that I can get my anger out.”

  Olivia burst out laughing. “Omigosh, I missed you so much. I’m so sorry, Char. I’m sorry for shutting you out. I knew you didn’t like him, and he didn’t want any of you around. That set off major alarm bells, but I didn’t know
what to do. I wanted my marriage to work. I think he wanted to isolate me from all of you so that he could make me into who he wanted me to be—his doormat. I was … embarrassed. I was embarrassed to be married to someone like him and to confide in you. You’ve always had it all together. I’m the needy one, and I screwed up so badly.”

  Charlotte held a hand to her chest, the ache there making it hard to breathe. She had been wrong. She had assumed Olivia had pushed her away for different reasons. “I don’t have it all together. Underneath the color coordination is a hot mess.”

  Olivia almost laughed. “Not true. But thanks. I convinced myself things would get better after the baby. I was embarrassed to admit any of this, and now that the wine has worked its magic I can also admit that I was embarrassed to see you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She shrugged. “I started putting on the weight really fast and Will was a jerk about it. I had a hard time looking in the mirror and I didn’t want other people who knew me before my pregnancy to see me.”

  Charlotte’s throat tightened at Olivia’s words. Just the thought of Will leaving the room while Olivia was in labor was enough to make her want to scream. But she had to deal with that on her own time, the fact that she would have dropped everything to be there to support her sister, but that hadn’t been an option. She wasn’t going to ever say anything to Olivia about that. What was done was done, and her sister had made the best decisions at the time—she had tried to save her marriage, and she had had faith in a man who didn’t deserve it.

  “Dawn … did you choose that name?” Charlotte asked, the name clicking only now.